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2009: Year of the Zombie

Okay, we'll get to the zombie business, I swear.  First, a few things.

1. I finally finished reading Eon: Dragoneye Reborn by Alison Goodman.  Whoa.  What a tome.  Has anyone seen those videos Maureen Johnson did with Libba Bray?  Aside from being HYSTERICAL, there is a bit in there where Maureen says "I don't like to write books that I can't fit in my mouth."  Or some such.  Eon is a book that you can't fit in your mouth.  And on top of that, it's supremely well-written and dense - not the sort of fluff that is easily digested as part of your complete breakfast.  But despite it's complicated premise - an empirical east-Asian-influenced universe where the guiding forces are 12 dragons (one for each animal in the Chinese zodiac) and the Dragoneyes (and apprentices) that channel the dragons' power - it read smoothly, and elegantly.  The character, Eon - a girl who is really named Eona and is masquerading as a boy to protect herself while she pursues the position of Dragoneye Apprentice (girls are forbidden to use dragon magic) - is masterfully written.  You believe her, you are her.  I loved this book and I can't wait for the sequel.  At least the book actually ended, unlike OTHER books with sequels that I've read lately. 

2. Cats #2 and #3 are sleeping way too cutely, snuggled together.  And they spent most of today canoodling.  Very distracting.

3. At the BookKids Blog I posted my favorite books for 2008, which includes titles from Lauren Myracle, Justine Larbalestier, Simmone Howell, Carrie Jones and Grace Dent.  Awesome stuff from awesome ladies.  Sure, I read good books by and for dudes this year, but they weren't quite favorite enough to make the list.  We've also been speculating about book award season, too, so check that out, if you will.

4. I just dropped over a hundred bux for the COMPLETE SERIES of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  There goes my Xmas money.  I fully blame a) carriejones who planted the seed with her blogs over at thru_the_booth which had much Buffiness and b) stacey_jay  who wrote this awesome book that reminds me of Buffy and that brings us to, yes, ZOMBIES.

Man, I've got maybe 40 pages left of You Are So Undead to Me and it's just awesome.  I keep pausing not because the book isn't gripping me, but because it's such a fun read I'm reluctant for it to be over.  Or maybe the intensity of the zombie suspense is so great I need a breather.  Or because I don't want to find out what hapens at the end because then it's THE END.  Sigh.  But it's so Buffy-esque.  The main character, Megan, is a Settler, basically a shrink for the dead.  If someone sees fit to crawl out of their grave, they come to her to deal with unresolved issues before she sends them back to rest in peace.  Of course there are other kinds of zombies - Reanimated Corpses, to be exact, raised with black magic.  And these are the kind that Megan has to take out old school.  Not so much with the karate and weaponry, but with spells that she and her family have been trained to use for generations.  It's such a wonderful book - campy and exciting and witty.  Buffy fans - and fans of campy horror and fantasy - will adore Stacey Jay.  Time to go finish the book though - I'm hoping to be done before Mark makes it back from work.  Hoorah!

Mark got a gift certificate to Kohl's from my parents for Christmas.  I was hoping he'd buy some nice dress shirts, but I didn't have my hopes up.  Which is a good thing because he came home from Kohl's with a deep fryer.  Shocking.  Of course, I'm happy to have one in the house - it means everything will taste better, duh.  And I can engage in my love for all things bad for you without leaving the house.

However, Mark has reservations about what I like to deep fry.  Just now:

Me: Will you deep fry a Twinkie for me?
Mark:  Ew.  Gross.  No. 
Me: Why?
Mark: I don't want you to die.  Which I'm pretty sure is what would happen if I deep fried a Twinkie for you.

It sucks, but, I am pretty sure I can figure out how to deep fry things on my own.  I see many deep fried candy bars in my future.
Dear lord we don't need anymore cats.  We already have three indoor residents and one curmudgeonly outdoor patron.  And yet, we keep finding cats.  We're always feeding neighborhood strays, who come and go.  But every once in a while someone shows up that is clearly not a stray, that is clearly someone's pet and is clearly very, very lost.

A few months ago we found a little black cat at our front door.  It took us two days but we did find her family - who called her Lucky.  Thank goodness, too.  We'd already been thinking about keeping her, even though she was a little, er, violent.  I still have scars from her scary bitefest on my leg.

But last night the sweetest, kindest kitty appeared at our back door.  When we went out to feed him we realized he was ridiculously friendly and brought him inside.  We've kept him in the bathroom (separated from the other cats), but he is so anxious to come out and explore.  He might even be a kitten, as, I'm pretty sure he's male, but he's also tiny.  Like 5lbs.  We put an ad up on craigsllist but no one has answered or posted anything about this kitty.  Sad!

We can't keep him.  We're trying to move soon and it's hard enough to find a place that will let you have three cats let alone four.  But as mark says, "this is the fucking nicest cat the world has ever known."  I can't bear the idea of him going to a shelter and just sitting there.  Does anyone want a cat?  Or know someone who does?

Or maybe you know who's missing their cat?  It's a long shot, but I'm willing to go there.  We'll be going to Town Lake later to see if we can't find a microchip.  I wish everyone would microchip their pets - it's just such a brilliant idea.  This poor guy is about the cutest thing ever, sweet as pie, and I am so terrified we might keep him.  DON'T LET US DO THAT.  please.

I have the plague.  THE PLAGUE!  Actually I think it's just allergies - I'm really itchy and I was up all night coughing last night.  Sinus headache this morning.  It's that time of year in Texas - so I hear. 

We're getting ready for the great trek north.  I WISH it were to Maine, but we're only going as far north as Wichita Falls, Texahoma.  (That's Texas + Oklahoma, for those of you who are new to this whole western thing, including myself.)  We'll be doing Christmas with Mark's family this year - but he promised next year he'd come to Maine with me.  

The kitties are being left behind, but my lovely and talented coworker Cassie will be coming by to feed and water and love them.  The love bit will be hard, I suspect, as only one of them is friendly with strangers.  Poor creatures. 

I mean, come on - how can you bid adieu to something as cute as that?  I hope he makes lovey-eyes at Cassie so he'll get extra attention.

I'm drinking peppermint tea thick with honey right now - it's the only thing that helps the sinus/throat issue.  But it's definitely not my favorite tasting tea.  What I wouldn't give for a nice cup of Irish breakfast tea with a splash of milk and a heaping teaspoon of sugar!  But no - peppermint it is.

I stuffed Mark's stocking last night.  It's rife with goodies.  My parents have always done stockings differently from other families, which I didn't know 'til this year when I googled "Christmas stocking pantyhose" and only got XXX shopping sites.  I then googled "New England stocking traditions" and began asking fellow New England exiles wtf was up with no one knowing about stuffing a nylon stocking for Christmas.  Apparently, this was a tradition started by my great grandmother in the depression.  She had six kids and not a lot of money, so the kids all got their stockings in a ladie's nylon sock.  My brother, sister, and I always had ours that way, too - but the stuffed nylon - usually about an arm's length or taller - was slipped into a traditional knit stocking made by my great aunt (and I mean great both family-wise and awesome-wise) Cheryl.  We would rip open the nylon on Christmas morning and pull out all our goodies that my parents had painstakingly stuffed into the nylon. 

You'd be surprised what you can fit in there.  Books, kitchen tools, hair do-dads, small toys, big bags of nuts or candy, a rolled-up magazine, a box of tea, etc.  Traditionally, there's supposed to be an orange at the toe - now I read up on this and supposedly it's a) to represent gold (for a girl's dowry, even?  Can't be arsed to re-look this up) and b) to represent the orange that was sometimes all a child would get in times of poverty/because it was a luxury back in the day.  Of course, the fruit thing has since been perverted by my goofy father.  Supposedly the first year my parents were married he put a banana in the toe of her stocking.  This year I got a gala apple from my parents (yes, they shipped my stocking out here and since nylon is see-thru I opened it).  Mark is getting a navel orange as per tradition, but his parents always put nuts in the bottom of his stocking so he says tradition be damned, my stocking will not have an orange in it and I'll just have to wait and see what it is.

Of course the nylon thing seems pretty weird to every non-Morse (my family name) or non-Carter (my mother's maiden name) - but once I explain it people tend to think its neat.  My mother is like DON'T SPREAD THE TRADITION AROUND, but, seriously, I think it's too weird for anyone to pick up who hasn't done things this way their whole lives.  Besides, it's not like I'm giving out our family's SUPER SECRET sugar cookie recipe.  Even though I was offered a hundred bucks for it a few weeks ago.  Not even kidding.

We're supposed to go look at a house in central Austin today, since we're moving and looking to downgrade from ur 3-2 to a 2-1 duplex unit.  Too much space = too much to clean.  Plus the bills get pretty high.  And Mark desperately wants to live central again.  We're waiting for the realtor to call us, and it is so unnerving to not have any clue what's gonna happen next.  But as soon as that's taken care of, we're off to Wichita Falls.  To listen to/read on the journey?  Behold:

Don't Get Too Comfortable by David Rakoff, which I bought with a little birthday money just for this trip.  It came recommended since I loved the Sarah Vowell audio book (The Wordy Shipmates) so much.
Shakespeare by Bill Bryson, which I borrowed from one of my bosses at BP.  I love free audio books.  It seems super cool, since Shakespeare is such an enigma - plus I haven't read any Bill Bryson before and I've always wanted to.
Eon: Dragoneye Reborn by Alison Goodman, who has a freaking billboard in Times Square.  New Goal: When I finish the Great American Young Adult Novel, I want a billboard in Times Square.  But I'm also hoping to finish this book on this trip so I can start...
ghostgirl by Tanya Hurley, which I've wanted to read for a while but haven't had the chance to until just now.  It looks cute and silly and fun, so here's hoping. 

Happy Holidays everyone - I hope Santa brings you everything you deserve!  (And lots of books, too!)

I just spend a wee bit at the sewing machine.  You really can't forget how to sew - every time I sit down with my machine it's like I was just working there yesterday.  I made an awesome skirt for my Secret Santa giftee - another employee at ye olde BookPeople.  Several months ago the Dummies people (you know, they make books like Computers for Dummies, Physics for Dummies, Armed Robbery for Dummies, etc) sent us a bunch of swag for having an AWESOME Dummies display in our store.  Well, the chick responsible for said display is my giftee, and I snagged a giant Dummies T-shirt thanks to her efforts.  When I got her name in the Secret Santa swap, I immediately knew I'd have to make her something with that shirt.  And so I did.  It looks like this:

Except with a Dummies shirt and no wolverines.  Yes I am a Geek.  Yes that is my old kitchen in Brooklyn which i ACTUALLY MISS.  I think I'm the only person to have lived in Brooklyn with a good-sized kitchen.  Woe to have left it.

She is also getting various other sundry, like a goofy mix and a necklace and some tights to go with the skirt.  Since it is december, after all.

And UNICORNS!  The latest book by Diana Peterfreund is the talk of the town.  Or at least my part of town, which includes me and everyone I know, which is basically me, my friends, and my cohorts at the bookstore.  Seriously, Rampant is THE SHIT.  You can't miss this book - I haven't read something so awesome in ages.  It's so far my favorite for 2009 (and, yeah, I've read a good deal of 2009 stuff already, though, admittedly, very little summer list).  My coworkers and I have been salivating over the book since I first heard about it from Miss Justine Larbalestier this fall.  Word spread quickly that someone had written a book about man-eating unicorns that could only be killed by virgin descendents of Alexander the Great.  With this kind of book, you're either in or you're out.  And Anyone out is clearly uncool.  So I got first dibs on Rampant, devoured it into the wee hours of the night until I was trying to read with one eye open and eventually passed out with the book cracked open over my face.

And it was amazing.

My one problem with the book?  Nothing to do with the book at all, really.  But the cover is not great.  I am so worried that this cover will keep me from selling it to would-be Peterfreund fans.  My friend Clint at work, an awesome dude who is waiting to read the book as well (there's a line of like 10 or so people - probably more since it multiplies like bunnies every time I turn around - wanting to get their hands on the ARC) has often told me about this reoccuring dream he has about "The Romantic Fantasy Hallway."  The Romantic Fantasy Hallway is a fictional part of the store that exists only in Clint's head and contains books like Vampires in Love and Dragon Slayer Lust and Erotic Dances with Fairies. And they have covers like Rampant.  And While the cover is cool-looking, it will no appeal to teen readers WHO WOULD LOVE THE BOOK if they would only crack it open.  Or trust me.  Teens don't trust grown-ups though, so that last one is OUT.

See, I meant to just write "I don't like the cover" and wound up going on a bit of a tyrade.  I'm that unnerved.  And I feel awful because I'd hate to hurt anyone's feelings, but, seriously.  The book deserves better.

So I have one plea: HarperTeen, please PLEASE give Rampant the cover it deserves!  Throw us booksellers a bone!  Diana Peterfreund is clearly ace, don't let sell her down the river!


I'm reading Eon: Dragoneye Reborn by Alison Goodman.  (I like this cover, actually - the orginal Aussie cover was pretty, too, but I can see why they changed it - and the title, Two Pearls of Wisdom, I think - to make it more gender-neutral and genrally badass-looking.  You can see all the covers on Ms. Goodman's webpage.)  It's pretty awesome.  Everyone I know who has read it says they opended it planning to skim it or thinking they wouldn't make it through...and then devouring it cover to cover.  And I can see why - great characters, great mythology, great everything.  Though I'm a wee bit confused by the cycles and ceremonies so far, I think that's just me overthinking things.  Great book though, and I think it comes out this week or next.

And Happy Solstice everyone!  Hoorah!

Okay so every time Mark has said he wanted to own some seriously bitchin' cuff links, this is probably not what he had in mind.  He probably was thinking of some gold-plated nonsense with his initials engraved in fancy calligraphy and all that jazz.  But, seriously, how can I NOT buy these for his stocking?  HOW?!  They are so freakin' cool.  I will probably get the black ones, since he's not exactly into the bright colors. 

I still don't know what cuff links do anyway, but my guess is Mark will know what to do with them.
I'm mostly done with my Christmas shopping - everyone is getting books this year and Mark and I are doing stockings.  Very excited about that.  
I'm reading Rampant by Diana Peterfreund right now, and it's pretty great.  Killer unicorns?  I'm so in.

Finished two fabulous books last week, though: Dirty Laundry by Daniel Ehrenhaft, which is part mystery part sattire part awesome.  Loved it!  It takes place at this run-down boarding school in New England where all the artsy weirdo kids go (as they are the "dirty laundry" of the boarding school elite).  The two main characters are a teen method actress attending the school under cover to study for her next role as a bitchy boarding school girl...and her personal assistant, the producer's son, who would have been expelled if it weren't for his father's deal with the school in regards to the actress.  Everyone's favorite student goes missing right before classes start, and the two protagonists wind up getting involved in their own investigation of the crime.  So fabulous, witty, and fun!  I also really liked Deadly Little Secret by Laurie Faria Stolarz, though I was a bit disappointed with the ending (I found the bad guy unlikely).  But the writing is solid, the characters well-crafted, and the story - that of a girl being stalked and a strange boy who says he wants to keep her from danger - compelling.

Dec. 4th, 2008

Two days until my birthday.  I will be 26, which means I am closer to 30 than 20.  I don't know if it would be that big a deal, except I'm dating a man who is 22, which is, well, much closer to 20.  Stupid boys.

And I feel it.  In my back.  Or that just could be hauling books all over the place.  Sigh.

The Xmas shopping is almost done.  People are getting books this year - ALL BOOKS.  The only exception is Mark's stocking which will have lots of random things in it to accompany the books.  This is what you get when a) the economy crashes and b) Emily quits her fancy job and gets employed at a bookstore.

My feet are cold.  I would turn on the heat but then I'd have to get up and my feet would have to move from the warm spot. Conundrum.

The BookKids blog is awesome.  I've started doing posts about what to get your people for Xmas/the holidays, so, go on, check it out.  Hopefully some of my cohorts in BookKids will post stuff as well, but it has been wicked busy at the store (yay!) and we haven't had as much time to blog as we'd like.  BUT, still, there WILL be shopping guides :D.

And check out the new issue of Mimesis, which has two of my favorite pieces in it as well as some other amazing stuff.  I should know, I copy-edited the thing, which was especially fun considering a) I'm American and b) the mag conforms to British grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

A few things and then a few more things

1. Mark's grandfather, Grandpa Jim, says I remind him of Sarah Palin.  Fact: Grandpa Jim is mostly blind, which is actually pretty tragic considering that he is a photographer by trade - and a good one at that.  Fact: Grandpa Jim also told Mark's mom that my accent reminds him of the news.  So I think Grandpa Jim mostly thinks I look/sound like a young brunette from the north who wears glasses and smiles a lot.  Fact: when I was 6 I had two moose in my back yard, and when I was 10 my friend's (most likely drunk) dad chased another moose down the street with a rake.

2. I made the world's ugliest pie for Thanksgiving.  Mark's mom bought the ingredients for me so that I wouldn't have to bring stuff up from Austin.  Fact: the sort of apples that make New England apple pie so good ARE NOT AVAILABLE IN TEXAS.  Woops.  Had to use Granny Smith apples.  Leslie also didn't know I could make pie crust from scratch so we used two crusts that were already in pie tins.  So the top crust came out in pieces and was thusly patched together.  Fact: world's ugliest pie still tasted fairly delicious.

3. We listened to Sarah Vowell's book The Wordy Shipmates on the billion-hour drive to Wichita Falls.  It was awesome.  Me and Mark high-fived every time John Oliver came on to voice his character.  We are dorks.  But seriously, if you're like me and history has always seemed a little bland if important, check out some Sarah Vowell stat.  We wanted to listen to Assassination Vacation on our Christmas trek, but we can only find an abridged edition.  WTF? Who does that these days?  So we'll probably listen to Bill Bryson's new book, Shakespeare, which I believe a coworker can lend me...

4. Over the last week I did a lot of reading. 

4-a. I finished Bones of Faerie by Janni Lee Simner, which was amazing.  It was perfectly plotted, a post-apocalyptic story with more of a historical feel, taking place after a war between Faerie and Humanity.  The main character, in fear of her father who has just left her newborn sister to die on account of the child's appearing to have magic, has fled her town into the dangerous forest.  I can't say enough good about this story - it blew my mind.  I love that it was a faerie book without a strong sense of who was good and who was evil.  I love that it's a quest book that doesn't move slower than death.  I love the presentation of magic almost as infection.  You must read this book (it comes out in January but I found an ARC hahaha). 

4-b. I then read Bad Girls Don't Die by Katie Alender which was, jeez, intense.  It's the story of a girl who thinks her life is just the normal kind of awful - high school drama, dysfunctional family, etc.  But then her sister starts acting bizarre, and it turns out there's been a long history of wacky events in her house.  What I truly enjoyed about this book wasn't just the fresh take on the supernatural and possession, but that the character's perception of the cool kids gets flipped on its head.  It's a much more real - rather than polarized - view of high school personalities.  It comes out in April. 

4-c. I moved from this spook-fest to the novel-in-verse Far From You by Lisa Schroeder, which was pretty okay.  While the verse left something to be desired - the line breaks were arbitrary and the few typographical elements too random - the story was compelling.  The main character is trapped in a snowstorm with her stepmother and newborn sister where she must work through her personal issues to help her family.  I think the characters were well-constructed, very believable, and that while the ending was fairly cheesy, I did generally enjoy the book.  It has, of course, left me with an obsession for novels-in-verse (which happens every time I read a novel-in-verse).

4-d. Right now I have about a hundred pages left in Jenny Green's Killer Junior Year by Amy Belasen & Jacob Osborn.  This book has a dark sense of humor much like Jawbreaker or Heathers, with it's JAPpy main character, a popular princess-type who has just moved to Montreal to attend boarding school when the social scene at her school on Long Island leaves a bad taste in her mouth.  She moves quickly from wanting to lose her virginity to pretty boy Josh Beck to finding herself his victim.  When she kills him in self-defense, it's not long before she feels her inner Supergirl/vigilante emerge.  As Jenny Green goes around slapping vengeance on bad boys, she keeps her bubbly attitude, sense of fashion, and Jewish sensibilities.  I haven't finished the book, but it's quite good so far, and definitely one that teens are going to be crawling over eachother to get to.  This book is supposedly out now, but it hasn't come in at the store and I'm wondering what's up.

5. There is so little to do in Wichita Falls that we went to Wal-Mart for fun.  Fact: at Wal-Mart, when you buy Slim Jims, they ring up as "meat sticks."

6. If you haven't had Dublin Dr. Pepper, you're missing out.  On our little road trip we stopped TWICE at a gas station in Hiko that serves FOUNTAIN Dublin Dr. Pepper.  It's like a carbonated melty sno-cone.  Sugar Sugar Sugar mmmmmmm.  Dublin is the only Dr. Pepper plant that still uses cane sugar instead of corn syrup in their soda.  Weeeeee. Now I want one :(

7. I have a bunch of books I want to read before returning to work on Tuesday.  Among them Everything is Fine by Ann Dee Ellis (sort of in verse I think?) and Everything Beautiful by Simmone Howell.  I also have moved Eon by Alison Goodman back up to the top of my pile, as well as The Ghosts of Kerfol by Deborah Noyes, Babylonne by Catherine Jinks, and The Realm of Possibility by David Levithan (verse! verse!).  I also really want to read the two books my gran sent my for my birthday (not til next week, but they came early...yay!): Freefall by Anna Levine and What My Mother Doesn't Know by Sonya Sones

My grandmother: Do you want anything for Christmas other than books? 
Me: No.  I have a reading problem.
I am making this post as I am confident that Mark will not read it.  It is hard enough to get him to read my "real" blog or any physical manuscripts I have...he won't touch the LJ.  That said, I'm on a mission.

Mark has these pajama pants that he's had, like, his whole life.  I don't see how this is possible, as Mark is 6'5" and I sort of think maybe he was smaller in middle school?  Whatever, he loves them, and they are his favorite ever.  But over the past year the unthinkable has happened.  It started with a little tear, which I offered to patch.  Mark refused, said it just added character.  But over time that mark of character has evolved into an enormous hole, from the hem of the pants up over the knee.  He wants me to patch them up, but, honestly, at this point, it's going to take more than a patch to fix them up.  See for yourself:

So you see the sadness.  The worst is when he takes me to work on Saturday morning and is not only grumpy that I missed the bus, but because his jammies aren't keeping his legs warm.

I really want to find him another pair of PJ pants.  I want them to be as close to these as possible.  I have thought about making them but a) not sure if I'll find the time to do them with mark not in the house and b) I've never made pants (successfully) before.  I've googled the crap out of it, and I can't find men's PJs with penguins on them.  Not in 6'5" man size.  Very sad.

To relieve my readers of this sadness, here is a picture of cats #3 and #2 being stupidly mushy:
I mean, srsly.  Look at those faces!

Anyway, if any of you know where I can find Mark some new PJs for Christmas, please let me know.  I'm getting desperate here.  I might have to make them myself, and, as previously stated, that just spells disaster.  Thanks, troops.  <3

I will end with GOOD NEWS: Mark has FINALLY started his Great American Novel.  Woohoo!  He has allowed me few details, but it sounds pretty brilliant.  So if you run into him on the interwebs, give him some props!

I'm reading Laurie Halse Anderson's newest, Wintergirls.  It's my first time reading her, shockingly, and I'm really enjoying it.  I think I'm only about 30 pages in, but I can really see why she's a popular writer.  She has a certain wit and art to her style.

My boss put this ARC in my hands and said that she had two and knew it was an "Emily" book.  She said it was an "issues" book and since I like those sorts of things, I'd probably be into it.  This is not to say that she was knocking issues books - but a lot of people do.  I think that's pretty lame.  Sure, there are plenty of poorly-done issues books.  And for each one there is a poorly done chick lit or adventure fantasy.  The fact is, issues books are an important part of YA lit, since teens deal with the reality of these issues on a daily basis.

I was talking with a librarian (or teacher?) the other day about this type of book.  Apparently, a really good way to help a teen struggling with abuse, illness, or some other unspoken adversity is through these books.  Maybe the first time they read Cut they're not going to get it.  But maybe somewhere down the line they'll realize that it could be their story, that they aren't alone, and that they can get help.  And maybe that teacher or librarian or otherwise trusted adult with book-recommending skills will be the person they talk to.

Sure, there are some authors out there who use transgression as a gimmick, or who are rehashing the same subject over and over (I read every Lurlene McDaniel book I could get my hands on in 6th grade and as an adult can't differentiate one from the other).  But there are gems out there, too, and to lump all of these books together as "issues" books, ultimately putting a negative label on the whole ordeal, is probably a bad idea.

Here are some titles I like that are considered issues books: Cut by Patricia McCormick, Crank by Ellen Hopkins, Living Dead Girl by Elizabeth Scott, Because I Am Furniture by Thalia Chaltas, and Looks by Madeleine George.


at the bus stop
E. Kristin Anderson (Emily)
The Hate-Mongering Tart

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